Holding Space for the Holidays

Holidays can be really challenging, especially when you’re spending them with people who are still steeped in diet culture and don’t want to get free. There are some good holiday survival posts out there already, so I’ll share several links at the end of this post.

Reminders for empowerment:

1. Boundaries are healthy. I deserve to have and enforce boundaries.
2. I will take a break whenever I can. Even stepping briefly out of a space physically and taking a few deep breaths can help.
3. It’s okay to protect myself from fatphobic comments, whether that means confronting them, staying silent, or walking away.
4. My feelings are valid.
5. I deserve to live a fully embodied life exactly as I am.
6. I deserve respect and dignity exactly as I am.
7. I am worthy of love, kindness, and compassion, including from myself.

I’m not big on holidays, so I’m working most of today, part of tomorrow, and on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day as well. I’ll be consciously holding space for all you fat folks out there who just need to know they’re being thought of with goodwill by someone who gives a shit about them exactly as they are. If you need a word on the holiday, email me at fatpositivecooperative@gmail.com. You can also follow me and tweet me @fatpositivecoop on Twitter. I’ll be around, and I’d be happy for the company. You’re also welcome to help grow the Fat Positive Cooperative Facebook Group.

Gaslighting is practically a family tradition for some people, and it’s abusive. If you aren’t familiar with the term, just learning about it may be helpful.

• Helping You Heal from Gaslighting – The Best of Everyday FeminismHelping You Heal from Gaslighting – The Best of Everyday Feminism by the Editors of Everyday Feminism
• 7 ‘Positive Thinking’ Phrases That Can Actually Cross the Line Into Gaslighting by Suzannah Weiss at Everyday Feminism
• Gaslighting Is a Common Victim-Blaming Abuse Tactic – Here Are 4 Ways to Recognize It in Your Life by Kris Nelson at Everyday Feminism

Holiday Survival Guides:

• Resources for Surviving Fatphobia at the Holidays by Ragen Chastain at Dances With Fat (has several links to other helpful resources)
• The Non-Dieter’s Holiday Survival Guide by Golda Poretsky at Everyday Feminism
• THE “HOW TO STAY BODY POSITIVE DURING THE HOLIDAYS” MASTER LIST by Jes Baker at The Militant Baker

Bonuses that might come in handy:

• 5 Ways to Survive Criticism From Family Members by Kira Asatryan at Psychology Today
• 5 Comebacks For Your Racist Relative During The Holidays by Franchesca Ramsey at Everyday Feminism
• Cutting Fatphobic Language Out of Your Life by Erin McKelle at Everyday Feminism